29th
Gendered communication
Lately, as I’m faced with opportunities to speak to larger audiences who are often older and more senior than what I was used to in school, I’ve become intrigued with the observation that men and women express themselves differently, especially in a public speaking context. Unfortunately, finding role models for this task as a professional woman is more difficult than it should be, so I thought I’d throw this out there as a big question for the ether.
A basic college class on rhetoric taught that good communication has three basic elements - ethos, pathos, logos. Ethos refers to how you establish yourself as the speaker in relation to your audience. Pathos means engaging them through emotional means; logos appealing to their logic. For both men and women, the three elements are all there, but look somewhat different - different ways of establishing credibility, introducing and organizing their talks, types of stories told, humor, body language, etc.
So, the basic question is:
Do men and women, especially in business, use different communication techniques to engage their audience?
For the sake of the questions that follow, let’s assume they do. From my experience watching speakers that engage me - lecturers in college, managers and colleagues at work, speakers at panels and events like TED - I’ve noticed that men usually use more exaggerated body language and tones, more direct and sarcastic humor, and more surprising or shocking stories to prove a point. Women either don’t use these techniques, or are use them more subtle. I’ve also noticed the unfortunate side-effect that more male speakser engage me than females, just by the fact that they use these more entertaining techniques in their talks. I wonder:
- Do these differences correlate to accepted gender norms?
- Are we socialized to be more receptive to male forms of communication?
- On the other hand, is what we perceive as intellectuality and credibility constructed around male communication techniques?
- Are people somehow less receptive to women who employ male communication technique? Are they seen as having less “ethos”? Is there a gender difference in this perception?
- What techniques do successful women communicators use that are different from men?
